Fatherhood brings a lot of responsibility and also great joy to the man who is committed to being a loving father who honestly cares for the welfare of his children.
A good father bonds with his children and helps them along the path of finding out who they are, their talents, and to becoming the best they can be.
We know no one is perfect. However, there is a lot of satisfaction in being a ‘good enough’ father. A 'good enough' father finds time to spend with his children and nurtures his connection with his wife.
Tantra recommends building a strong love bond between parents because the stronger the love connection of the parents, the more children will grow up having a model of a marriage that works. A strong connection and good communication with his mate makes him a better lover and a better father.
Men who come to me for relationship counseling and Tantra get to understand on a deep level that trust in life comes from good mothering, and self-esteem comes from good fathering. When you tell your child that it’s OK to make mistakes and kindly but strongly invite them to look at the consequences of their actions to learn from their mistakes, you have helped your child with his or her self-esteem.
When you go to see your kids’ games, you have helped them feel important enough for you to take that time for them.
Father’s Day is your special day to celebrate all that and more.
However, I am thinking also of those fathers who made their woman pregnant by mistake and were not able or willing to commit to fatherhood. I can only imagine how painful a day like Father’s Day can be to these biological “fathers” who might have succumbed to a moment of passion and caused a birth of a human being that would grow up without them. I’m imagining that on a certain level both the child and the father are longing for each other.
Tantric wisdom extends an invitation to those “fathers” to celebrate Father’s Day as well, by forgiving themselves for their ignorance, lack of consideration of the consequences of their action, or lack of courage to take responsibility for it.
By doing this, they start to father their own inner kid that I’m guessing might not have had great self-esteem when that happened.
Forgiveness builds self-esteem and transforms guilt into love.
I also feel for those fathers who had the misfortune to lose their children in war or through some accident or sickness.
Holidays like this serve to help them mourn for the loss and get deeper into self-love.
My love goes out to all of you, fathers! Happy Father’s Day!
Read more >>
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The Five Types of Yoni: Part Three - The Lily
Again, we invite men to really notice everything about a woman: the way she moves, the way she tilts her head, the different kinds of smiling.
Every man I talk to is extremely happy when he sees his woman happy. There is an altruistic way men love their women.
One of the most important ways a man can honor his woman is to notice and admire her yoni. It is now common knowledge that every woman has a different yoni just as every person has a different finger print.
We are looking at yet another type of yoni today.
The Third Type of Yoni – The Lily
Her clitoris is several inches from the vaginal opening
She enjoys a lot of clitoral stimulation especially over her long, smooth tunnel-like hood
Her inner lips are thin, but a little thicker than the tulip yoni.
Her vaginal cavity is deep and naturally very wet.
Her Amrita tastes sweet. So lovers, please make sure you get to taste it.
She enjoys lots of foreplay and oral sex; she likes a lover who starts softly, almost just breathing on her, but is invited to go all the way to hard sucking when she's really turned on.
She likes squeezing on the sides--also called shafts--of the clitoris. She often increases her stimulation by sliding her hooded clitoris back and forth and around.
During intercourse she likes woman on top, doggy-style and side to side with her man's leg between her legs. She prefers positions that allow for grinding of the pubic bone.
She can accommodates and enjoy long lingam.
Enjoy making love to her yoni, but don’t forget to look into her eyes to let your love come through to her soul.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Exciting Video Interview with Carla Tara, about Tantric Sex!
It was very interesting being interviewed about a topic so dear to my heart. The interviewer was Anton of Sexy Spirits, a wonderful community that merges the knowledge of Taoism and Tantra.
And in spite of my deep knowledge of the subject I was feeling nervous wanting to give the most in the short time we had.
I would appreciate any comments about what you would have liked to hear more about.
Read more >>
And in spite of my deep knowledge of the subject I was feeling nervous wanting to give the most in the short time we had.
I would appreciate any comments about what you would have liked to hear more about.
Read more >>
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Dealing With Stress the Tantra Way
Life has become easier and more complicated at the same time.
Easier because we have everything closer at hand, complicated because we have many choices available and only limited time to study them and to pursue them.
We have to deal with: "what is the best way to deal with this? Who is right? Who can help us meet our challenges or solve our problems?"
What about if I make wrong choices because I have not studied the problem enough, or I've not asked the right people? What is 'enough'? Who is the best person that can counsel?
All of these decisions and indecision can be very stressful.
At these times, we may remember to trust our intuition. But how are we going to recognize what is intuition and what is just a strong desire to get past the painful problem solving time?
It gets especially painful when choices have to do with our health, our relationships and our job. The temptation to move fast in the hope of getting out of the pain of non-decision can be great, especially for dynamic personalities, but fast might not be the best move.
I suggest that you study 3 different good sources of information. There is something special about the number 3.
What do I mean by good sources? I mean generally recognized as valuable sources. Not just a friend or a family member, but recognized experts.
Then let go of the search, and take time for yourself to get into the core of your being where you are one with all that exists.
Stay with the first hint.
Get up and start taking the first step in the direction of the hint you have received.
You are on your way to solving your problem the best way for you and to achieving the desired result!
Enjoy the process. It works for me.
Please let me know if it works for you too.
Carla Tara
Read more >>
Easier because we have everything closer at hand, complicated because we have many choices available and only limited time to study them and to pursue them.
We have to deal with: "what is the best way to deal with this? Who is right? Who can help us meet our challenges or solve our problems?"
What about if I make wrong choices because I have not studied the problem enough, or I've not asked the right people? What is 'enough'? Who is the best person that can counsel?
All of these decisions and indecision can be very stressful.
At these times, we may remember to trust our intuition. But how are we going to recognize what is intuition and what is just a strong desire to get past the painful problem solving time?
It gets especially painful when choices have to do with our health, our relationships and our job. The temptation to move fast in the hope of getting out of the pain of non-decision can be great, especially for dynamic personalities, but fast might not be the best move.
I suggest that you study 3 different good sources of information. There is something special about the number 3.
What do I mean by good sources? I mean generally recognized as valuable sources. Not just a friend or a family member, but recognized experts.
Then let go of the search, and take time for yourself to get into the core of your being where you are one with all that exists.
- Do some body movements and stretching to relax the body
- Lie down on a couch or mat and close your eyes
- Visualize you are sitting in a room full of light. Give that light the color that represents love for you
- Imagine every cells of your body soaking up the color of love
- Do the Tantric Ocean Breath for about 10 minutesto get the energy moving
- Pleasure your body with the same passion you would pleasure your lover
- Do so until your body starts vibrating with energy and perhaps even moving in waves
- Ride the orgasmic waves that are happening spontaneously
- Enjoy the feeling of abandon
- Get to a space of gratitude that you have a body
- Then rest and ask yourself the question you want an answer to
- Listen to the first answer you perceive
Stay with the first hint.
Get up and start taking the first step in the direction of the hint you have received.
You are on your way to solving your problem the best way for you and to achieving the desired result!
Enjoy the process. It works for me.
Please let me know if it works for you too.
Carla Tara
Read more >>
Thursday, May 8, 2008
The Five Types of Yoni - Part Two: The Tulip
One of the wonderful insights of Tantra is that female energy is like a river -- you can never step in the same water twice, as it is always flowing and changing. For the male partner, this means it is important to remember that making love to a woman requires your total attention to how she's feeling in the moment, not remembering what turned her on last time you made love.
However there are some guidance posts in the physical structure of a yoni that you can use as relaxed guidance.
In my last newsletter, I described the first type - the violet. Today, I'm going to describe another yoni type - the Tulip.
If you love the act of intercourse itself, and prefer short genital foreplay, this is the yoni type for you.
Of course, you can extend the time of connection with her through
synchronized breathing, expressing your admiration and affection and with an exquisite Tantric body massage.
Her yoni's appearance may not be very impressive. She has a tiny clitoris next to the vaginal opening. Sometimes it's not even hooded, so it's very sensitive. Her inner lips are usually very small and thin, but also very sensitive.
But appearance does not determine sensation, and the woman with a Tulip yoni is blessed with a body that is well suited to the pleasure of the sexual act.
For her, the position of the clitoris makes it possible for her to be easily stimulated during intercourse, and the G-spot is close to the entrance and easily reached.
As you know, the G-spot is the lower end of the clitoris, which is the north pole of the yoni. Clitoris and G-spot are merging into the same sexual organ of pleasure.
In this type of yoni, the size of the vaginal cave is very deep, and can easily accommodate even longer sized lingams.
This type of yoni is usually dry, because she is hot and tends to evaporate the moisture quite fast. Please make sure that you have good lubrication close by when you make love to her.
Her amrita can taste from sweet to tart depending on her emotional mood.
If you do love to give her genital foreplay, be very, very gentle and slow; because of the sensitivity of both her clitoris and her inner lips. She likes to be stimulated by massaging and squeezing her outer lips together.
Often, this yoni tends to prefer intercourse to foreplay or oral because direct clitoral stimulation can actually be painful, and her clitoris receives a lot of stimulation from penetration alone.
She likes hard, fast intercourse with deep thrusting and movements that cause the lingam popping in and out of the vaginal entrance.
Her preferred intercourse positions? Well, she likes them all, but
especially positions that give her deep penetration. Positions with her
legs up are among her favorite ones.
Enjoy getting to know the woman first, and then delight in getting to know her yoni.
Read more >>
However there are some guidance posts in the physical structure of a yoni that you can use as relaxed guidance.
In my last newsletter, I described the first type - the violet. Today, I'm going to describe another yoni type - the Tulip.
If you love the act of intercourse itself, and prefer short genital foreplay, this is the yoni type for you.Of course, you can extend the time of connection with her through
synchronized breathing, expressing your admiration and affection and with an exquisite Tantric body massage.
Her yoni's appearance may not be very impressive. She has a tiny clitoris next to the vaginal opening. Sometimes it's not even hooded, so it's very sensitive. Her inner lips are usually very small and thin, but also very sensitive.
But appearance does not determine sensation, and the woman with a Tulip yoni is blessed with a body that is well suited to the pleasure of the sexual act.
For her, the position of the clitoris makes it possible for her to be easily stimulated during intercourse, and the G-spot is close to the entrance and easily reached.
As you know, the G-spot is the lower end of the clitoris, which is the north pole of the yoni. Clitoris and G-spot are merging into the same sexual organ of pleasure.
In this type of yoni, the size of the vaginal cave is very deep, and can easily accommodate even longer sized lingams.
This type of yoni is usually dry, because she is hot and tends to evaporate the moisture quite fast. Please make sure that you have good lubrication close by when you make love to her.
Her amrita can taste from sweet to tart depending on her emotional mood.
If you do love to give her genital foreplay, be very, very gentle and slow; because of the sensitivity of both her clitoris and her inner lips. She likes to be stimulated by massaging and squeezing her outer lips together.
Often, this yoni tends to prefer intercourse to foreplay or oral because direct clitoral stimulation can actually be painful, and her clitoris receives a lot of stimulation from penetration alone.
She likes hard, fast intercourse with deep thrusting and movements that cause the lingam popping in and out of the vaginal entrance.
Her preferred intercourse positions? Well, she likes them all, but
especially positions that give her deep penetration. Positions with her
legs up are among her favorite ones.
Enjoy getting to know the woman first, and then delight in getting to know her yoni.
Read more >>
Saturday, May 3, 2008
The Five Types of Yoni - Part One: The Violet
There are 5 types of yonis that can be recognized and a myriad of other little differences that actually make each yoni completely unique.
Each type has certain characteristics that are helpful to recognize.
I gave these different types of yonis a name of a flower bringing to mind how each yoni opens up to loving touch like a flower opens to the sun. Today I will discuss the first type, which I call Violet.
I will talk about the other four major types in my next newsletters.
Yoni -- The Violet
Her clitoris is about 4 inches above the vaginal opening, and may be tiny.
Her hood pops out easily over the clitoris, and her inner lips are small.
The size of her vaginal cave is of average depth.
Her G-spot location: very deep and back. Therefore stimulating her g-spot can be critical to orgasm.
Her temperature is medium hot.
The taste of her amrita (sexual juices) is neutral.
She is naturally moist-damp.
A woman with this type of yoni will usually enjoy a lot of grinding in intercourse and will require direct clitoral stimulation by hand or vibrator to bring her to orgasm. She prefers gentle pressure and squeezing.
She will find oral sex pleasurable with some sucking of the clitoris and labia,
and some side to side flicking motions.
A woman who has a 'Violet Yoni' prefers the following intercourse positions:
She will often enjoy tight penetration. She may find a pillow under the small of back is great to change the angle of entry.
She usually likes doggy style with a straight back so you or she can stimulate her clitoris manually.
If your woman has this type of yoni, you can start using this information and enjoy the results!
If not, become more sensitive to her structure and her mood and enjoy the challenge and the blessings it will bring you!
Read more >>
Each type has certain characteristics that are helpful to recognize.
I gave these different types of yonis a name of a flower bringing to mind how each yoni opens up to loving touch like a flower opens to the sun. Today I will discuss the first type, which I call Violet.
I will talk about the other four major types in my next newsletters.
Yoni -- The Violet
Her clitoris is about 4 inches above the vaginal opening, and may be tiny.
Her hood pops out easily over the clitoris, and her inner lips are small.
The size of her vaginal cave is of average depth.
Her G-spot location: very deep and back. Therefore stimulating her g-spot can be critical to orgasm.
Her temperature is medium hot.
The taste of her amrita (sexual juices) is neutral.
She is naturally moist-damp.
A woman with this type of yoni will usually enjoy a lot of grinding in intercourse and will require direct clitoral stimulation by hand or vibrator to bring her to orgasm. She prefers gentle pressure and squeezing.
She will find oral sex pleasurable with some sucking of the clitoris and labia,
and some side to side flicking motions.
A woman who has a 'Violet Yoni' prefers the following intercourse positions:
She will often enjoy tight penetration. She may find a pillow under the small of back is great to change the angle of entry.
She usually likes doggy style with a straight back so you or she can stimulate her clitoris manually.
If your woman has this type of yoni, you can start using this information and enjoy the results!
If not, become more sensitive to her structure and her mood and enjoy the challenge and the blessings it will bring you!
Read more >>
Friday, May 2, 2008
Personal Appearance at Sedona Conference
Next week, I will be speaking at the Spring Conference & Gathering for Sacred Sexuality Healers, Teachers & Practitioners at Sedona Temple in Sedona, Arizona. My topic will be how Tantra can be used to unblock the buried pain of past trauma and heal past wounds.
The healers and teachers at Sedona Temple are wonderful people, and I am blessed to know several of them personally. Their 3-day annual conference brings together over 200 sex healers from around the country and internationally, and is one of my favorite gatherings of the Tantric community. This year, the conference theme is "BEING - The Difference That Makes a Difference," a message that we can all embrace and share.
If you are exploring a future as a Daka/Dakini, this is a wonderful chance to be exposed to a wide variety of teachers and yogis. You can sample some of the best of the Tantric world from around the country.
You can find information on the conference and registration details at the Sedona Temple website.
Be sure to say hello!
Read more >>
The healers and teachers at Sedona Temple are wonderful people, and I am blessed to know several of them personally. Their 3-day annual conference brings together over 200 sex healers from around the country and internationally, and is one of my favorite gatherings of the Tantric community. This year, the conference theme is "BEING - The Difference That Makes a Difference," a message that we can all embrace and share.
If you are exploring a future as a Daka/Dakini, this is a wonderful chance to be exposed to a wide variety of teachers and yogis. You can sample some of the best of the Tantric world from around the country.
You can find information on the conference and registration details at the Sedona Temple website.
Be sure to say hello!
Read more >>
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